At my wedding, my groom Jared Olsen's childhood friend, Leila Kemp, hopped up onto the stage clutching a handful of mystery boxes. She announced she had a special surprise just for me. Before I could react, she held up a Venmo QR code, her voice sugary. "Pay first, then you can open the boxes!" Jared pulled out his phone and transferred $1,000,000 on the spot, a grand gesture meant to say "I love you forever." The payment alert chimed through the hall, and my parents' faces fell. Leila popped open the first mystery box. Inside was a ring. She took my hand and slipped it onto my finger like it was nothing. "Jared just bought me a new one, and I'm sick of wearing this one anyway. It's yours now." Then she opened the second box. It held a remote control. She pressed a button, and the engagement photos on the big screen vanished, replaced by a photo of Leila and Jared kissing. She made a face at me. "Jared thought your engagement photos looked way too stiff and formal, so I switched it up for you two." I stood there stunned until I heard my dad gasp and clutch his chest. That snapped me out of it. "Leila! Turn that off! What the hell do you think you're doing?" She just raised an eyebrow and opened the last box. Inside was a marriage certificate. "Gloria Hines, this is the final surprise. Jared and I tied the knot in Vegas last week. Surprised?" The second she finished, Jared's drawl cut in. "Leila, isn't this a bit much? Today is my wedding, after all." Then he turned to us with an exasperated look. "Sorry, I've spoiled Leila." He looked at me. "It's a novelty certificate from a chapel, just for fun. Don't take it seriously. You're the one I'm marrying today." I looked at the contempt on Jared's face, and whatever hope I had left died. I wasn't going through with this wedding.