During the November sale, my fiancé, Conrad Pike, surprised me with a buy-one-get-one-free coffee order from Brewline Coffee for 1.90 dollars. He sent me the pickup code and told me, so lovingly, that it was his first gift to me that winter. I went to the counter, thrilled, only to learn that the girl by the window had already collected it. I walked over, pretended I was waiting for a table, and sat across from her with a friendly smile. "That 1.90-dollar deal is really working. There are lines everywhere." She stirred her drink with her straw, looking disgusted. "What's the point if it tastes like dishwater? I wouldn't touch this cheap stuff if my boyfriend hadn't insisted two-for-one was romantic. At least he knew enough to send me 9,999 dollars to make up for it." She held up her phone, practically glowing as she showed off the transfer. I could clearly see that Conrad Pike had sent it. His profile picture was the business portrait I'd spent 3,000 dollars on when I went with him to the photo shoot last month. After 7 years together, I apparently wasn't even worth a 0.95-dollar coffee. All she had to do was complain about the taste, and she got 9,999 dollars. I didn't cry or make a scene. I suggested adding each other on the app so we could split future deals, then quietly photographed the transfer on her screen. If he liked two-for-one deals so much, I'd give him a wedding gift on New Year's Day that he would never forget.